This is not how I had planned on starting…

I woke up on January 1st with purpose, I was FINALLY going to start a blog–something I had been dreaming about for years.  I am a woman who is constantly in a limbo between wanting to start something new, and being too afraid to take the first step.  My fears about admitting my desires to write had been crippling me, but I had recently posted an article on a parenting blog and the feed back I received was enough of a blessing to finally push me towards the edge.  So, January 1st 2014, I decided it was time.

Now, I had posted this article in October, so why did it take me 2 months to get started on my blog?  Because dates matter, darn it.
Big events should happen on big days.  (I take real issue with people who start diets on thursdays.  REALLY? You are going to start a major lifestyle change in the middle of the week? I mean, What kind of madness is that?)
Plus, I LOVE new years resolutions.  They are like catnip to me.  When people say that they don’t make resolutions I assume it’s because they are robots.  Who doesn’t relish the chance to have a fresh-start?  A blank slate to live this year, the whole year, the way it should be lived.
So, back to the morning of the 1st.  I woke up EARLY, I started my morning doing all the things I have resolved to do (which is a lot) and then I moved on to the big one, the blog.  I have been starting and stopping this blog for weeks. . .actually  years, so this morning I jump in and pay before I have the chance to chicken out.
Then all my fears came back with a vengeance.  Right away I can’t figure out the theme, or how to load pictures, I start to cry which makes my husband uncomfortable–which in turn makes me mad.
I take breaks to feed my kids, or do chores, or whatever–honestly I’m just flaking on myself–only this time there is money at stake, THIS time, it is New Years Day.
I continue to fiddle with the site, I even write an entire post and somehow, (hashtag my fault) it gets deleted.
New years day came and went, and I didn’t start my blog.
Bumming Hard.
There is more to it, but the gist is that I didn’t get it all figured out in one day, the BIG day, and for me (in the past) that has been a deal breaker.
But, I called my sister, who not only talked me back into what I already knew I wanted, but also sent me this song:

Plus, I ate a lot of this:
So. . .I don’t love the look of this blog right now, I don’t know exactly how all of it works, I’m not entirely sure where this whole blog-thing is going, but I have “demanded to free it” anyway.  I rewrote my original post, which has turned out to be entirely different from what I had planned.  But maybe that’s the way this whole blogging experience is going to be: Different then I’d had planned.
At least it’s done now, no chickening out.

Therefor, I am moving forward with this little dream of mine, even if it means that my first post doesn’t actually appear until the 2nd of January. . .which is a Thursday. . .seriously, who changes their lives on a Thursday?

Photo on 10-16-13 at 4.21 PM

About trinakhobbs
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