I didn’t see it coming, my unexpected friendship.

When we moved to this new town last year I had one acquaintance already built in.  An old friend from middle-school, who I hadn’t had much contact with since our junior year.

She moved to my home town in our 7th grade year and we became instant friends.  We had so much in common.  We were both Christians, we both played the piano and drums, we both rode the same school-bus. . . Soul-mates.

However, our friendship quickly took on a sour note when my friend and I started to compete for the same boys.  Suddenly everything she did made me green with envy.  Her handwriting was prettier, her hands were cuter, she had better clothes, she was more fun to be around, she was prettier, smarter, more popular and it made me CRAZY jealous.

(Let me be clear, we were still friends.  Up until the end we always sat together at lunch, she came to my birthday parties, all of it.  The amazing thing about middle/high school is that you can be the best of friends while harboring rather angry thoughts for each other.)

Since reentering each others lives we’ve come to realize that for every jealousy I had for her, she also shared with me.  She actually said she was jealous of my hands and I laughed out loud.  “How is that possible, when I remember hating how much prettier your hands were.”  Enough time has passed that now all of our silly insecurities just bring us closer together.

So much in common.

I didn’t think that rediscovering this friend would end up being so important for me, our friendship is a bit unexpected, but it’s been a wonderful surprise.  Even our boys are friends, what a treat.

And I’m still envious of some things:  She owned a home here before we did, she is pregnant with her fourth child and I will only ever have two…

But, right now I am watching her middle son.  I’m watching him so my friend can take her dad to the doctors.  She is taking her dad to the doctor, because his cancer is back.

I’m not jealous of that.

Another thing that this friend and I have in common is that we were both raised by step-fathers.  Both of our biological dads died when we were young.

That’s right, this dear friend has already lost a father and is now fighting for the life of another.

It just sucks.

There is a club for people who’ve lost a parent and my friend is already a member, it just doesn’t seem fair.

I had no idea how important reconnecting with her was going to be, but it turns out that she and I have simply needed one another this past year.

To watch each other’s kids, to help each other move, to survive mommy-hood, to simply have an adult conversation every once in a while.

I’m so grateful God placed us back into each other’s lives and that I can be here for her, in any way, during this fight for her dad.

We are praying for more time,

praying for a miraculous recovery,

praying for her unborn baby, and her young sons, and her beautiful family.

But, I am also praying prayers of praise, thanking God for not allowing me to sabotage our relationship with my jealousy, and for blessing me with this sweet friendship renewed.

I didn’t see it coming, but I am crazy grateful.

About trinakhobbs

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2 Responses to I didn’t see it coming, my unexpected friendship.

  1. mitziebeyer says:

    Trina…I know I don’t know you (I sort of know your husband through my son climbing at Montrose High School) but I started following your blog a bit ago and it touches me. You speak with such a beautiful heart and open hands. You are a gifted writer and your authenticity is challenging me to be even more so. Thank you for writing. Thank you for being real. ~Mitzie Beyer~

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