I’ve been in a bit of a. . . I don’t know exactly what to call it. . . a funks too intense a word. Just a lazy-kinda-unmotivated-space.
The real problem is probably this: I think it’s time to admit that I have an addiction to the internet.
It isn’t just social media, although that’s definitely a part of it.
It’s also random articles about the latest psychology of gluten, GMO, marriage disasters. And uplifting videos or solders with their dogs, and sons dancing with their moms, and people being saved from floods, and, and, and.
It’s pinning all the beautiful exposed brick walls, and searching for the perfect rug for my living room, and dinning room, and entryway. (Guys, I need some area rugs.)
It’s finding the perfect handbag, or researching rain boots, (cause heaven forbid I don’t research rain boots.)
I made a decision to find more quiet time in my life, a challenge to make space for more nothing, and you know what I discovered.
I really love the internet.
Full on addict.
I’ve made choices my whole life to avoid anything addictive. I’ve had multiple family members who have struggled with addiction in different forms; from the more obvious alcohol and tobacco, to the less threatening but just as addictive diet sodas. I’ve consciously decided to keep all addictive items in check.
(I randomly cut out coffee just to make sure I don’t let my morning routine get out of control.)
I just didn’t see the internet as an addiction, but it totally is. Every time I have open space I look for my phone or laptop to fill in the time.
“Oh good, I have a few minutes, lets use this time to look up some good beet recipes, or watch youtube videos of ‘Dancing with the Stars’.”
The struggle is real.
SO, what are we gonna do about this?
Well, I don’t do well with rules. As soon as I put myself on a diet I break it. Weird right? I consider myself a rather disciplined woman, but I don’t like to “have” to do anything.
I am the most subtle type of rebel there’s ever been.
I’m just going to have to keep myself accountable . . . to myself.
Can I justify the time I’m spending on the inter-web? Is this uplifting, edifying? Am I ignoring my family, my spiritual life, my responsibilities? Am I using the internet to avoid something else . . . like the laundry?
As of this exact moment the answer is yes. I am avoiding the laundry.
So, lets get to it.
Day one fighting this addiction is a go. Wish me luck folks.