Proverbs 28:13 “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. “

SO…

Yesterday I got a text from a friend that read:

“[Cyclone] broke his wrist?!?”

My response was of course: “No. Why?”

But before her reply text was received I had a feeling I already knew.  This same friend’s son had recently broken his arm.  Another friend Cyclone had visited with over the summer had on a cast.

And Cyclone had worn my wrist brace to school.

I see what’s happening here.

I asked him, “Honey, did you tell someone that you’d broken your wrist?”

His face fell, “Yes.”

(Gotta hand it to the kid.  He fessed up right away.)

My boy lied.

To his friends.

To his class.

Oh dear.

We had a LOOOONG talk about it, and my love cried. . . a LOT.

I explained to Cyclone that one of the best things about our relationship is that I trust him.  For example, He gets to go to the kids section of the library alone while his sister has to stay with me in the stacks because I trust him to obey the rules.  That’s a benefit of trust.

He can get his own snacks while I insist on getting his sister’s because I trust him.  That’s a benefit of trust.

Now that he lied he has lost some of that trust.  Thus, he will also lose some of those benefits.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”  ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Boy was he sorry.

He curled up in my lap and cried for a good hour.  I held his sweet, tear-stained face and told him over and over, “I love you, you’re a good boy.  You made a bad decision but you are not bad.  You’re my good boy and I love you.”

Over and over and over.

When Adam got home I made Cyclone confess to him.

It was practice. . .

for this morning.

We insisted that Cyclone confess his fib to his friends and he was sooo nervous.  Adam promised to go with him, have his back, but it was still hard for me to watch him shaking in his seat as they drove away.

Adam told me as soon as he got home that Cyclone confessed to his friend, (at least one of them, they couldn’t find the other) and that sweet-boy hugged Cyclone and told him, “thank you for telling me.”

Oh praise Jesus!!!  What a perfect way to accept my son’s confession.  HALLELUJAH!!

I hope we aren’t being too hard on him.  Forcing him to confess, guilting him with the “loss of trust” talk.

But it will be so much easier for him to learn this lesson now, right?

While the consequences are small.  The hurt is minimal.

I mean, How quickly that lie spread to me.

How painful it was to undo.

(Cyclone’s first solution was to simply say that he was “all better now.”  That’s some quick recovery, kid.)

Adam told our boy that confessing was what a man would do.

They own up to their mistake.  Ask for forgiveness.  Are humble, honest, accept punishment.

I’m so glad I married a man who believes this.  So glad we are tag-teaming this parenting thing.

Rough lesson, but I’m thankful for the opportunity to encourage my son’s growth.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.”
― Anne Frank

About trinakhobbs

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7 Responses to Proverbs 28:13 “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. “

  1. Lori Lutz says:

    Good stuff friend. Proud of you as a mommy. You did a great job and I respect you!!! Hard life lessons.

  2. Sarah says:

    You are a good mom, Trina. Thank you.

  3. Mitzie Beyer says:

    Oh sweet Trina, how I want to encourage you! Everything about what you did with this situation was so right! I have older kids…only one left in school….and I read your post in tears because I did so many of these things the wrong way. I didn’t have the courage or the confidence or whatever was needed at the time to follow through on these things all of the time. I think maybe more truthfully, I was embarrassed….thought that somehow I would look like an awful mom, when in reality, they have to learn this stuff because they just. don’t. know. And that’s ok. They need to be taught and you did it with love. You brought truth and God brought the conviction to his heart and your little man responded to God’s voice. You realize that right? His conscience (God) spoke and he listened. And God in his kindness, helped his friend respond with love. He is so tender with us.
    As your kids get older, you will see the things that maybe you could have, should have done better or differently. I am there now. So my job is to come alongside and encourage and lift up the mamas coming up. I know I don’t know you personally, but from what I observe from afar is that you are a very thoughtful, loving, balanced mama. May the Lord continue to bring light to the hard places like this one. You are loved. And seen. And known. Good job sweet mommy! ❤

    • trinakhobbs says:

      Oh Mitzie, Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate your encouragement. Parenting is hard, almost no matter what choice you make you worry it was the wrong one. I love knowing that I’m not alone in my worries.

  4. Live Bravely says:

    You two are such friggin great parents. I have tears in my eyes. The lessons that you are instilling in him; what a good man he is going to become. I love how you are constantly concerned with who he is becoming. I love how you told him his choices were bad, but that he is YOUR good boy and you love him. Wow. so good Trina Bean. Also, I love how Adam “had his back”. That is chocked full of good things about God and a father and, and, and…
    *high five* *hugs* *high five*

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