Oh baby baby, it’s a wild world…

I picked a school in California to attend for my first year of college.  For a shy, small town girl who’d never had to practice meeting new people my first year at university was pretty daunting.

So, my mama drove me out to school and helped me move in.  And, because she loved me, she also stayed in San Diego for a few days to help her timid mountain daughter adjust to this new beach life.

I remember, we were supposed to meet up at my university’s chapel service but I couldn’t find her in the mass of a 1000 college kids.  It was the day she was officially leaving me and I was desperately scanning the crowd for my mommy slash safty blanket.

(F.Y.I. This was before everyone had cell phones.)

I eventually resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to find her in that crowd and slumped back in my chair.  The music was over now and our speaker had started. . . and then, out of the silent audience, someone cleared their throat.

And it spoke to my soul.

My head instantly shot to the left and there she was.  My beautiful mom, only a few rows away.

I knew her by her cough.

I’ll never forget that moment.  I knew her so well that I even recognized that simple sound.

I was instantly comforted.

She’s still here, she hasn’t left me yet.  I still have a few more moments.

Today my mom has been gone for 9 years.

I miss her still.

I’m just like my young 18 year old self.

Still scanning the masses, desperate to find her.  Not ready to be left alone in this strange new world.

I was thinking about her yesterday after I dropped my kids off at their schools.

I was alone in my car, counting the longs years since I’ve last spoken to her and, out of the still silence, choked by my tears, I cleared my throat.

And it spoke to my soul.

I recognized it, clear as day.

My mom.  I heard her in that simple sound.

I knew her so well I developed her cough.  And the sound of it was instantly comforting.

She’s still here.  She never really left.  I’ll see her again.

While driving me to my first year at college, my mom put on the song, “Wild World” by Cat Stevens.  Preping me for my new life without her always near.

I still listen to that song and remember our road trip together, and that blessed throat clearing moment.

And the small comfort it brings.

It’s a wild world without you, Mom.

I love you, forever.

About trinakhobbs

This entry was posted in Blessings, Celebration, faith, Parenting woes and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Oh baby baby, it’s a wild world…

  1. Sarah says:

    Oh Trina. What a beautifully written tribute to her. Hugs and prayers to you today.

  2. Jan says:

    Thank you so much for sharing–even though it made me cry.

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