On that note, a few words in defense of my husband.

First off I want to thank everyone for all your kind words of support.  I believe my family is currently the most prayed for family in the valley.  I greatly appreciate it.

And next I’d like to take a few moments to speak about the man who has been my best friend for the last 12 years.

I believe that the man Adam was made to be is beautiful.

The Adam I knew was hardworking, generous and kind.  I’d never known anyone more charitable or who’s natural tendencies where more helpful.  He was always the first to wash dishes at a dinner party,  he regularly bought other people’s dinner anonymously.  He was always showing up to help whenever someone asked.  He regularly loaned out his most expensive tools to friends and family. Adam spoke at my mother’s funeral, and then immediately quit his job, without hesitation, in order to be with me while I grieved.

This man was a good guy. 

The “Adam” God made him to be, I know, is my absolute dream man.

(I will simply not allow anyone to speak ill of the man I married.  I made that man my family, he is my most inner circle.  We can talk about what he “did” but I will not bash who he “is”.  I want to be perfectly clear on this point.  I love that man.  He will be in my life forever, no matter what.  He did a horrible thing, he is not a horrible man.)

So what happened?

Well, things got in the way, vices and lies, and escape routes…and Adam lost his way.

I have had to watch in horror as the man I loved slowly disappeared over the past 6 years.

Then, on September 7th, the absolute worst day of my life, I watched him come running back to me.

This last month has been the most brutal of my life but I’m telling you, it has also been beautiful.

 

Adam has made huge changes in his life and they are having a drastic and positive affect on my family.

The man I fell for, the man I’ve loved, the man I’ve fought for all these years has, at long last, made his arrival and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna bail out right when life finally has the chance to get good.

Guys, my marriage is on life-support…but I honestly believe, that we might be in the position to actually witness a miracle.

I get the feeling that there is a real chance that Adam and I might be able to have the very best marriage ever.  That God wants to redeem this relationship to an even higher threshold.

It is going to take SO MUCH work.  It is going to take SO MUCH time.  But I believe that there’s a chance for God to make true beauty out of these ashes.

And I, for one, want to at least leave the space for God to do that work in us if he is so willing.

I once took my son the the movies.  We were watching “Big Hero Six” (which is really fantastic, by the way) and my son decided, at the absolute saddest part of the movie, that he had to go to the bathroom.  I kept asking him to be patient, “Can’t you wait??” but he insisted and he left that theater in hysterics because, for all he knew… all hope was lost.

BUT, if he had waited just 5 more minutes, he would have seen the story resolve.

The lost were found, the good guys came back, the day was won.

Can you wait, Trina?

Can you be patient, and allow some space, and just see?

I mean, maybe, maybe…just maybe.  The lost will be found, the good guy will come back …maybe, just maybe, there might be some redemption in your story.

Guys, all hope is not lost.

Not yet.

About trinakhobbs

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6 Responses to On that note, a few words in defense of my husband.

  1. Vicky Cordova says:

    I love you guys. Hang on to your faith. God will show you the way, He is The God of restoration. You will be in my prayers.

  2. Sherman Huff says:

    Trina it is Sherman and Andi from the Flying J Ranch. We have been praying for you and Adam since your post earlier this year. When we saw you two this summer we were so encouraged. You looked so radiant and happy and we remember visiting with you after one of the shows and Adam walked up behind you placed his arms around you kissed your hair and just stood there holding you. It was so obvious that there is a deep love on both sides.

    You are so smart to seek God’s guidance and to wait. Divorce is always an option but that option will be there next month or next year or even five years from now. I know from my own experience that sometimes the pain is so great that we want a decision and an answer right now. But again in my experience I have found that when I force the decision it is usually the wrong one and I regret it. It is only when I walk through the pain and wait for God’s guidance that I find I have a peace about my decision.

    There was a time in my life when the pain was so great that I wanted to do something right now! But I would ask myself if I could bear it for another hour then could I bear it until lunch then could I beR it until the end of the day or until tomorrow before I made the final decision. And that is how I made it through for over a year until God’s guidance was clear.

    We love both you and Adam an pray for God’s wisdom, guidance and healing in your lives. You are both wrapped deeply in our prayers. Sherman and Andi

  3. Kim Johnson says:

    Hey Trina. I love your words. As I was thinking about y’all this afternoon and praying for you, I wondered to myself, are you seeking outside help? I truly hope that you and Adam are getting some Godly counseling. This is too big to go it alone.

    • trinakhobbs says:

      Oh Goodness, we are in SO much counseling. Adam has some form of it two or three times a week and I go at least once, sometimes together, sometimes apart. Right now what we did is the truth to be in the light.

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