Last night felt almost normal, which is odd because it was Halloween, the most “un-normal” of holidays.


A dear friend of mine asked if Adam and I would like to go trick-or-treating with her family and then have dinner together at her house. (For those of you keeping track this is the friend who asked me to join a running club.  I believe with all my heart that God brought this woman into my life because he knew I was going to desperately need her.)

This might seem like a simple invite.  To a simple night of fun.  On a simple little holiday.

But it isn’t simple at all.

This was our first holiday post separation.  This was our first holiday as a family trying to navigate the healing process now that the truth is both known and public.  There is nothing simple about our lives right now.

And I don’t think that my friend thought twice about it.

She just wanted to spend some time with us.  Wanted her son to have kids to play with.  Wanted to do something small and easy for a school-night-holiday.

But to me, it felt huge.

I walked down the street watching my kids run joyfully from door to door and I thought, “Thank you, Jesus.”  My kids are having fun, my kids have both parents at Halloween, my kids get to just be kids and enjoy life without worrying about who gets who, where and when.

After trick-or-treating we made our way back to my friends house and dished up hotdogs for the kids and green chile chicken stew for the adults.  Then we set up chairs around a fire pit in the front yard to roast marshmallows and hand out candy.

It was a sweet fall night.


I was sitting at that fire staring into the flames when I mentioned how much I appreciated the invitation:

“Because,” I said, “These days it feels like our family is part of the untouchables.”

To which my friend’s dear husband immediately responded.  “Yeah, well so was Jesus.  Plus, he made friends with the untouchables didn’t he?  Heck, I’m an untouchable too…so there you go.”

It made me smile.

It wasn’t him pretending like there was nothing broken about Adam and I, in fact it was a recognition of it.  But it was also him joining with us, sitting with our shame.  Welcoming us to his table in spite of our “untouchable” status.

I love these people.

We survived our first holiday post-truth.

Our first very “un-simple” holiday as a member of the untouchables crew.

And we made it to the other side because of our friends.

Thank you, Jesus.


About trinakhobbs

This entry was posted in Adam, faith, friendship, Marriage, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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